The Irvin & Bethany Neuenswander Family

---

Compton Family (Elizabeth) A space just for us to tell you about ourselves? Are you sure there's enough room? So many people, so little time. Get your big bohunkus off the chair Joe...It's my turn.
Grundy Family (Emily) Kansas City Here We Come. Never before seen footage... Family of tall women all in one house fighting over the curling iron in preparation for family reunion.
Neuenswander Family (Paul) Family in southern Californing found smuggling immigrants into the country for cheap labor. Word is thier leader has a very large garden and was found illegally producing large tomatoes for his client..a one Betty Biddinger aka (Tomato Mama).
Bunnel Family (Evelyn) Huge family from Colony, KS makes up over 50% of population. Senate Committee for Homeland Democracy is investigating the situation. The SCHD have set up temporary headquarters in the house of a one Steven Bubna.
Neuenswander Family (John) Neuenswander Family (also known as the Polyester Dancers),Starck City MO..indicted on 6 counts of purposefully creating a barage of sickeningly corny shows and monopolizing Branson MO. Also indicted on 7 counts of forcing customers to buy donuts in concession areas.
Bubna Family (Jean) Great White Family from the Great White North buy out east coast surpluses of sunscreen causing prices on sunscreen to skyrocket.
Mead Family (Ruth) Family in north Texas from a famously bad gene pool found smuggling used cars over the border to Oklahoma. Police were tipped off by Mr. Elmer Beezus a laundramat owner in Coffeyville, Kansas, who recognized large sums of dollar bills going around in dryers. When questioned a larged chinned family member claimed she was told to launder the money by the ring leader aka "Rotten Tooth Ruth" Mead.
Oehlert/Biddinger Family (Betty) Family in small town outside of Lawrence KS found smuggling 1000s of migrating martins to Vietnam where martins are known to be a delicacy. Family found to be funneling proceeds into Air Conditioning businesses all over northern Kansas.
Neuenswander Family (Bill) Ripley's Believe it or Not. Baldwin City, Kansas family found to have far more smart alecs than legally allowed. Senate Hearing Committee is currently being briefed on the dangers of this behavior. Bruce Wayne who also refers to himself as The Bruce, has announced he will fight for his first amendment smart-alec rights all the way to the Supreme Court. Believe it or not.
Neuenswander Family (Dan) Baldwin Kansas family accused of underground public school employment ring. Thousands of dollars paid under the table for jobs all over the state of Kansas and pocketed by the well known Don of public schools.
Neuenswander, Helen